> Digest of "real life" tech support anecdotes.  
> You may have seen some (or all) of them before.
>
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> 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press 
> Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.
>      
> 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard

> to control with the dust cover on.  The cover turned out to be the
plastic 
> bag the mouse was packaged in.
>      
> 3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that 
> the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. 
> After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the 
> problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled

> them into the typewriter to type the labels.
>      
> 4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective 
> diskettes.  A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along
with 
> Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
>      
> 5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back

> in the drive and close the door.  The customer asked the tech to hold on,

> and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to

> close the door to his room.
>      
> 6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to
fax 
> anything.  After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician
discovered 
> the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the 
> monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
>      
> 7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell 
> tech suggested he go to the local Egghead.  "Yeah, I got me a couple of 
> friends" the customer replied.  When told Egghead was a software store, 
> the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."
>      
> 8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no 
> longer worked.  He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and 
> water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and 
> washing them individually.
>      
> 9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged 
> because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech 
> explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses 
> shouldn't be taken personally.
>      
> 10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her 
> new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in,

> the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. 
> Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing 
> happens."  The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
>      
> 11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new 
> computer wouldn't work.  She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in, 
> and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked 
> what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power 
> switch?"
>      
> 12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
>   Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
>     Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
>   Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
>            warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
>     Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
>   Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
>     Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, It's because I
>            am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade 
>            show?  How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any 
>            trademark on it?"
>   Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
>            promotional. It just has '4X' on it."  At this point the Tech
> Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had 
> been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and 
> snapped it off the drive!