>  Having chosen English as the preferred language in the EEC (now 
>  officially the European Union, or EU), the European Parliament has 
>  commissioned a feasibility study in ways of improving efficiency in 
>  communications between Government departments.
>      
>  European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is 
>  unnecessary difficult; for example: cough, plough, rough, through and 
>  thorough. What is clearly needed is a phased programme of changes to 
>  iron out these anomalies. The programme would, of course, be 
>  administered by a committee staff at top level by participating nations.
>      
>  In the first year, for example, the committee would suggest using 's' 
>  instead of the soft 'c'. Sertainly, sivil servants in all sities would 
>  resieve this news with joy. Then the hard 'c' could be replaced by 'k' 
>  sinse both letters are pronounsed alike. Not only would this klear up 
>  konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but typewriters kould be 
>  made with one less letter.
>      
>  There would be growing enthusiasm when in the sekond year, it was 
>  anounsed that the troublesome 'ph' would henseforth be written 'f'. 
>  This would make words like 'fotograf' twenty persent shorter in print.
>      
>  In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be 
>  expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are 
>  possible. Governments would enkourage the removal of double letters 
>  which have always been a deterent to akurate speling.
>      
>  We would al agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is 
>  disgrasful. Therefor we kould drop thes and kontinu to read and writ 
>  as though nothing had hapend. By this tim it would be four years sins 
>  the skem began and peopl would be reseptive to steps sutsh as 
>  replasing 'th' by 'z'. Perhaps zen ze funktion of 'w' kould be taken 
>  on by 'v', vitsh is, after al, half a 'w'. Shortly after zis, ze 
>  unesesary 'o' kould be dropd from words kontaining 'ou'. Similar 
>  arguments vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
>      
>  Kontinuing zis proses yer after yer, ve vud eventuli hav a reli 
>  sensibl riten styl. After tventi yers zer vud be no mor trubls, 
>  difikultis and evrivun vud fin it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze 
>  drems of the uvermnt vud finali hav kum tru.
>