Subject:  Roger & Elaine 
> 
> >>>>Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks
> >>>>her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights
> >>>>later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They
> >>>>continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them
> >>>>is seeing anybody else.
> >>>>
> >>>>And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to
> >>>>Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize
> >>>>that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six
> >>>>months?''
> >>>>
> >>>>And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud
> >>>>silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I
> >>>>said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he
> >>>>thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't
> >>>>want, or isn't sure of.
> >>>>
> >>>>And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
> >>>>
> >>>>And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of
> >>>>relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd
> >>>>have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we
> >>>>are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just
> >>>>going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading
> >>>>toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready
> >>>>for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
> >>>>
> >>>>And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . .
> >>>>February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car
> >>>>at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I
> >>>>am way overdue for an oil change here.
> >>>>
> >>>>And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm
> >>>>reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship,
> >>>>more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I
> >>>>sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it.
> >>>>That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's
> >>>>afraid of being rejected.
> >>>>
> >>>>And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission
> >>>>again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right.
> >>>>
> >>>>
> >>>>And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry,
> >>>>too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the
> >>>>way I feel. I'm just not sure. I never should have mentioned it.  Now he
> >>>>probably feels cornered, like I'm being too aggressive and now he wants out.
> >>>>But hey, maybe I want out too?  I need to think.
> >>>>
> >>>>And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty.
> >>>>That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
> >>>>
> >>>>And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a
> >>>>knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next
> >>>>to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly
> >>>>do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is
> >>>>in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
> >>>>
> >>>>And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a
> >>>>goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their
> >>>>. . .
> >>>>
> >>>>''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.
> >>>>
> >>>>''What?'' says Roger, startled.
> >>>>
> >>>>''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning
> >>>>to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have . . . Oh God, I feel so .
> >>>>. . ''
> >>>>
> >>>>(She breaks down, sobbing.)
> >>>>
> >>>>''What?'' says Roger.
> >>>>
> >>>>''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I
> >>>>really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no
> >>>>horse.''
> >>>>
> >>>>''There's no horse?'' says Roger.
> >>>>
> >>>>''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.
> >>>>
> >>>>''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
> >>>>
> >>>>''It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time,'' Elaine
> >>>>says.
> >>>>
> >>>>(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries
> >>>>to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he
> >>>>thinks might work.)
> >>>>
> >>>>''Yes,'' he says.
> >>>>
> >>>>(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
> >>>>
> >>>>''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.
> >>>>
> >>>>''What way?'' says Roger.
> >>>>
> >>>>''That way about time,'' says Elaine.
> >>>>
> >>>>''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''
> >>>>
> >>>>(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to
> >>>>become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it
> >>>>involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
> >>>>
> >>>>'Thank you, Roger,'' she says.
> >>>>
> >>>>''Thank you,'' says Roger.
> >>>>
> >>>>Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured
> >>>>soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he
> >>>>opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply
> >>>>involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he
> >>>>never heard of.  A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him
> >>>>that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty
> >>>>sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's
> >>>>better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy
> >>>>regarding world hunger.)
> >>>>
> >>>>The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them,
> >>>>and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In
> >>>>painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything
> >>>>he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word,
> >>>>expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible
> >>>>ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for
> >>>>weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never
> >>>>getting bored with it, either.
> >>>>
> >>>>Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend
> >>>>of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:
> >>>>
> >>>>''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''
> >>
> >>
> >
> >