>> > >     THE STAGES OF LIFE: MALE
>> > >
>> > >     AGE        DRINK
>> > >     17         beer
>> > >     25         beer
>> > >     35         vodka
>> > >     48         double vodka
>> > >     66         Maalox
>> > >
>> > >     SEDUCTION LINE
>> > >     17         My parents are away for the weekend.
>> > >     25         My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
>> > >     35         My fiancee is away for the weekend.
>> > >     48         My wife is away for the weekend.
>> > >     66         My second wife is dead.
>> > >
>> > >     FAVORITE SPORT
>> > >     17         sex
>> > >     25         sex
>> > >     35         sex
>> > >     48         sex
>> > >     66         napping
>> > >
>> > >     DRUG
>> > >     17         pot
>> > >     25         coke
>> > >     35         really good coke
>> > >     48         power
>> > >     66         coke, a limousine, the company jet
>> > >
>> > >     DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
>> > >     17         "tongue"
>> > >     25         "breakfast"
>> > >     35         "She didn't set back my therapy."
>> > >     48         "I didn't have to meet her kids."
>> > >     66         "Got home alive."
>> > >
>> > >     FAVORITE FANTASY
>> > >     17         getting to third
>> > >     25         airplane sex
>> > >     35         menage a trois
>> > >     48         taking the company public
>> > >     66         Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
>> > >
>> > >     HOUSE PET
>> > >     17         roaches
>> > >     25         stoned-out college roommate
>> > >     35         Irish setter
>> > >     48         children from his first marriage
>> > >     66         Barbi
>> > >
>> > >     WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
>> > >     17         25
>> > >     25         35
>> > >     35         48
>> > >     48         66
>> > >     66         17
>> > >
>> > >     IDEAL DATE
>> > >     17         Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
>> > >     25         "Split the check before we go back to my place"
>> > >     35         "Just come over."
>> > >     48         "Just come over and cook."
>> > >     66         sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >     THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE
>> > >
>> > >     AGE        DRINK
>> > >     17         Wine Coolers
>> > >     25         White wine
>> > >     35         Red wine
>> > >     48         Dom Perignon
>> > >     66         Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >     EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
>> > >     17         Need to wash my hair
>> > >     25         Need to wash and condition my hair
>> > >     35         Need to color my hair
>> > >     48         Need to have Francois color my hair
>> > >     66         Need to have Francois color my wig
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >     FAVORITE SPORT
>> > >     17         shopping
>> > >     25         shopping
>> > >     35         shopping
>> > >     48         shopping
>> > >     66         shopping
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >     DRUG
>> > >     17         shopping
>> > >     25         shopping
>> > >     35         shopping
>> > >     48         shopping
>> > >     66         shopping
>> > >
>> > >     DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
>> > >     17         "Burger King"
>> > >     25         "Free meal"
>> > >     35         "A diamond"
>> > >     48         "A bigger diamond"
>> > >     66         "Home Alone"
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >     FAVORITE FANTASY
>> > >     17         tall, dark and handsome
>> > >     25         tall, dark and handsome with money
>> > >     35         tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
>> > >     48         a man with hair
>> > >     66         a man
>> > >
>> > >     HOUSE PET
>> > >     17         Muffy the cat
>> > >     25         Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
>> > >     35         Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
>> > >     48         Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
>> > >     66         Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the Cat
>> > >
>> > >     WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
>> > >     17         17
>> > >     25         25
>> > >     35         35
>> > >     48         48
>> > >     66         66
>> > >
>> > >
>> > >     IDEAL DATE
>> > >     17         He offers to pay
>> > >     25         He pays
>> > >     35         He cooks breakfast the next morning
>> > >     48         He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
>> > >     66         He can chew breakfast
>> > >